Antara Angin dan Puan, terdengar satu bualan:
Angin : Puan, saya kepingin berterbangan.
Mahu sampaikan pesan?
Puan : Angin,
Sampaikan saja salamku, pada
Pemilik senyum itu
Bisikkan padanya, Aku
rindu,
Sungguh
Terlalu rindu...
Monday 30 July 2012
Sunday 15 July 2012
He was the Black Sheep n He Had Long Gone...
HE was the black sheep in my family, BUT
wasn't so black that people could not see him from the rest of 5 others.
He was different!
Mak and Ayah admitted how different it was to handle him
for he was a boy, who would do anything, without any fear of scolding, whipping or even caning..
Please don't judge! For he wasn't insolent!
He wasn't evilish! NO, he wasn't!
he was just being naughty, happy, confident and stubborn.
We, the other 5 were NEITHER angelic! NO, we weren't!
we were the 5 cowards, less naughty, less challenging and more obedient.
Days before July 15, 1999.
He came to me, his only kakak, resting his head on my laps
"Akak, could you please check my ears? They seem to give me troubles"
"There is nothing wrong, Abang De", me looking into his ears, turning this side to that side.
He was stubborn, yes, my third brother.
In our countless kid's fights, he kicked me quite often,
BUT days before he gone, he surrendered to my now-matured love, sisterly touch and care.
I'm glad I let that happen, his head resting on me, for that one last moment.
So sweet that moment, BUT not without regrets!
just few days before he had his name on the death certificate,
he requested,
"Akak, make me a mug of hot drink please?"
so tired of the household chores the whole morning, I heartlessly denied his last request
I said: "Do it yourself!"
Just few hours before he, forever gone, this third brother of mine, for few times he weakly asked,
"Akak, where has Mak gone?"
Me, with my monthly mood swing, got terribly irritated for my answer got to be repeated,
presented him a half yelling
"She is at Tabika. Attending Tabika programme"
I still remember that weak and sad face!
keeping his silence, in heart, he was probably saying:
"Please don't be so harsh, Akak, for I'm forever leaving..yes..I'm leaving"
If I could turn back time, with some other bad things to him, I had said and done
these were the few things I wish I would never do!
not before days he bid us adieu!
July, 15 1999, a gloomy rainy Thursday evening it was
He, our sweet 16..
He came home, yes..He came home
an injured body, without a soul
Crashed in a car, he was the driver
having confidently known the wheel by the age 13, so tender
He sneak drove the car, cheerfully sending friends to an evening tuition
On the way back home, there He was..ascended to heaven!
He came home not all alone
bringing along with him, the best buddy ever
a senior, a seventeen-year old who shared death and 7-feet-down grave jokes, just a month before, they both left us here forever.
there, in my wooden front house
we sadly yet patiently received both, soul-less bodies so young
parents and families wept..my Mak cried in silence
Ayah didn't shed a tear, not until he was done,
well-preparing the son to meet his Creator.
Here we are, July 15 2012..
with faith, accepting the inexplicable loss for 13 years
knowing full-heartedly that..whatever it is..
Things do happen..and
Things happen for reasons...
He, our long lost Kamarul Haizam...
was the hillariously funny, energetic, fast, unique, friendly, soft-spoken black sheep of my family,
He had long gone!
13 years under a total submission
to The Greatest Creator, Most Magnificent, Most Benevolent...
P/S: His loss has taught me lots of family lessons..
i) DON'T TURN YOUR FAMILY'S SIMPLE REQUEST DOWN for you can never know if the request is final.
ii) CHERISH YOUR SIBLINGS WHILE THEY ARE VISIBLE IN FRONT OF YOU for you can never tell when you no longer able to.
iii) DON'T HIDE YOUR LOVE & SORRY FROM THEM for you can never guess when you can say "I love You and Sorry" next.
Al-Fatihah to both my late brother & his best buddy & all bros n sisters who have long gone, leaving us, counting our time...
wasn't so black that people could not see him from the rest of 5 others.
He was different!
Mak and Ayah admitted how different it was to handle him
for he was a boy, who would do anything, without any fear of scolding, whipping or even caning..
Please don't judge! For he wasn't insolent!
He wasn't evilish! NO, he wasn't!
he was just being naughty, happy, confident and stubborn.
We, the other 5 were NEITHER angelic! NO, we weren't!
we were the 5 cowards, less naughty, less challenging and more obedient.
Days before July 15, 1999.
He came to me, his only kakak, resting his head on my laps
"Akak, could you please check my ears? They seem to give me troubles"
"There is nothing wrong, Abang De", me looking into his ears, turning this side to that side.
He was stubborn, yes, my third brother.
In our countless kid's fights, he kicked me quite often,
BUT days before he gone, he surrendered to my now-matured love, sisterly touch and care.
I'm glad I let that happen, his head resting on me, for that one last moment.
So sweet that moment, BUT not without regrets!
just few days before he had his name on the death certificate,
he requested,
"Akak, make me a mug of hot drink please?"
so tired of the household chores the whole morning, I heartlessly denied his last request
I said: "Do it yourself!"
Just few hours before he, forever gone, this third brother of mine, for few times he weakly asked,
"Akak, where has Mak gone?"
Me, with my monthly mood swing, got terribly irritated for my answer got to be repeated,
presented him a half yelling
"She is at Tabika. Attending Tabika programme"
I still remember that weak and sad face!
keeping his silence, in heart, he was probably saying:
"Please don't be so harsh, Akak, for I'm forever leaving..yes..I'm leaving"
If I could turn back time, with some other bad things to him, I had said and done
these were the few things I wish I would never do!
not before days he bid us adieu!
July, 15 1999, a gloomy rainy Thursday evening it was
He, our sweet 16..
He came home, yes..He came home
an injured body, without a soul
Crashed in a car, he was the driver
having confidently known the wheel by the age 13, so tender
He sneak drove the car, cheerfully sending friends to an evening tuition
On the way back home, there He was..ascended to heaven!
He came home not all alone
bringing along with him, the best buddy ever
a senior, a seventeen-year old who shared death and 7-feet-down grave jokes, just a month before, they both left us here forever.
there, in my wooden front house
we sadly yet patiently received both, soul-less bodies so young
parents and families wept..my Mak cried in silence
Ayah didn't shed a tear, not until he was done,
well-preparing the son to meet his Creator.
Here we are, July 15 2012..
with faith, accepting the inexplicable loss for 13 years
knowing full-heartedly that..whatever it is..
Things do happen..and
Things happen for reasons...
He, our long lost Kamarul Haizam...
was the hillariously funny, energetic, fast, unique, friendly, soft-spoken black sheep of my family,
He had long gone!
13 years under a total submission
to The Greatest Creator, Most Magnificent, Most Benevolent...
P/S: His loss has taught me lots of family lessons..
i) DON'T TURN YOUR FAMILY'S SIMPLE REQUEST DOWN for you can never know if the request is final.
ii) CHERISH YOUR SIBLINGS WHILE THEY ARE VISIBLE IN FRONT OF YOU for you can never tell when you no longer able to.
iii) DON'T HIDE YOUR LOVE & SORRY FROM THEM for you can never guess when you can say "I love You and Sorry" next.
Al-Fatihah to both my late brother & his best buddy & all bros n sisters who have long gone, leaving us, counting our time...
Saturday 14 July 2012
My Pride n Joy: Forget Bieber, Ok!
July 14 2012 @ Sunway, Justin Bieber is performing..Heck! Who needs Bieber when I already have 5 BIG STARS like these???
Here are my PRIDE n JOY, the ones who never fail to bring smiles, laughters, screams and pains into my life.
SMILES would blossom whenever I look at them selflessly sharing their food and bedding with other kits, lining themselves up for a good lovely sleep.
LAUGHTERS would crack whenever I look at them cheerfully playing hide n seek and playfully biting each others' tail, like no one cares.
SCREAMS would thunder the house when they start scratching my mom's upholstery, peeing on our hill of unfolded clothes, forcing me to re-wash the clothes whole.
PAINS would envelope my fragile heart when they start shedding weight, losing appetite, walking aimlessly and preparing to say "goodbye".
I've known the lovely creatures of their kind for my whole life..they will come n go..each, bringing me love n pride that will be forever etched in my heart.
P/S 1: This is a continuation of my Peristiwa: April 14 2012 entry. Cikus was a motherless female kitten, born on a heavily-rained April 14. She had been bottle-fed by me and friends for a week before Bubu, our home cat gave birth to Simba, Greyi and Bino a week after, April 21st. Having bottle-fed quite a number of orphaned kittens who all could not survive the harsh motherless life, I could never imagine Cikus would turn to a 3-month-old beauty today!I profusely thank Bubu for taking Cikus as one of her own. Syukur to Allah for allowing me to enjoy the moment with these unexplicably lovely Aprilians thingys..
P/S 2: Thanks to Cikgu Wani for the I-Pad captured moment! am a broke teacher who is camera-less/i-pad-less/fancy-gadjetless!!! hahaha!
Here are my PRIDE n JOY, the ones who never fail to bring smiles, laughters, screams and pains into my life.
SMILES would blossom whenever I look at them selflessly sharing their food and bedding with other kits, lining themselves up for a good lovely sleep.
LAUGHTERS would crack whenever I look at them cheerfully playing hide n seek and playfully biting each others' tail, like no one cares.
SCREAMS would thunder the house when they start scratching my mom's upholstery, peeing on our hill of unfolded clothes, forcing me to re-wash the clothes whole.
PAINS would envelope my fragile heart when they start shedding weight, losing appetite, walking aimlessly and preparing to say "goodbye".
 |
| Bubu, a selfless mommy who will hiss whenever unfamiliar cats coming near to her kids |
 |
| Sleeping in line kits. Bubu must have said "Wanna sleep, sugar? Line up first, pls!" |
 |
| R-L: Cikus, Greyi, Bino & Simba - Western names for the last three from my English teacher housemate, Wani! |
 |
| ooowwhhh a so cute Greyi..Greyi my girl..dreaming of Johnny Depp or Brad Pitt or Jared Letto or Bellamy or Chris Martin? |
 |
| Cikus at the far front..an adopted sister, a Kak Long who always leads |
 |
| Psss!!!I'd like to 'intro' my 14-April-born Cikus to another 14-April-born, Abdullah Arif..errr..is that OK with you, Arif???hehe.. |
P/S 1: This is a continuation of my Peristiwa: April 14 2012 entry. Cikus was a motherless female kitten, born on a heavily-rained April 14. She had been bottle-fed by me and friends for a week before Bubu, our home cat gave birth to Simba, Greyi and Bino a week after, April 21st. Having bottle-fed quite a number of orphaned kittens who all could not survive the harsh motherless life, I could never imagine Cikus would turn to a 3-month-old beauty today!I profusely thank Bubu for taking Cikus as one of her own. Syukur to Allah for allowing me to enjoy the moment with these unexplicably lovely Aprilians thingys..
P/S 2: Thanks to Cikgu Wani for the I-Pad captured moment! am a broke teacher who is camera-less/i-pad-less/fancy-gadjetless!!! hahaha!
Friday 6 July 2012
Homosektual:Karya Tehrani yang Meligatkan Otak!
Jika ditanya kenapa aku pilih Utusan sejak dari kecilku, bukan akhbar-akhbar lain..maka ini adalah jawapan utamanya:
Karya-karya sastera hebat, merangsang jiwa dan pikir yang terkumpul dalam laman Sastera Mingguan Malaysianya..carikan aku lain-lain akhbar, laman sasteranya takkan sama seperti yang termaktub dalam Mingguan Malaysia. Hangat..memang hangat..berat dan sarat dengan maksud tersirat..
Salah satu pengkisahan yang memberi kesan..yang meligatkan otak aku adalah yang tertera dibawah...Sila baca dalam-dalam..faham dan rungkaikan maksudnya...
Karya-karya sastera hebat, merangsang jiwa dan pikir yang terkumpul dalam laman Sastera Mingguan Malaysianya..carikan aku lain-lain akhbar, laman sasteranya takkan sama seperti yang termaktub dalam Mingguan Malaysia. Hangat..memang hangat..berat dan sarat dengan maksud tersirat..
Salah satu pengkisahan yang memberi kesan..yang meligatkan otak aku adalah yang tertera dibawah...Sila baca dalam-dalam..faham dan rungkaikan maksudnya...
Homosektual
Oleh Faisal Tehrani
http://www.utusan.com.my/utusan/info.asp?y=2012&dt=0624&pub=Utusan_Malaysia&sec=Sastera&pg=sa_01.htm
ARKIB UTUSAN ONLINE : 24 JUN 2012
Tuesday 3 July 2012
Lalang Putih...
lalang putih serumpun
di tanah baruh Desa Kepala
bukan bukti tanahnya mati
bukan terbiar tak berhuni.
tanah kosong berlalang putih
bukan tanda malas empunya
luas kurang lebih sejengkal
tiada tertanam buah yang bebal.
berliuk -lintuk lalang keputihan
mencambah akar mendebu benih
dari baruh melebar ke hulu
tanda subur isi berpadu.
merimbun lalang putih
mendakap sejengkal tanah
tanda tanah dipunya
Pemikir arif nan bijaksana.
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