Pre/Script: To those pestering us ----“the H.O.T single ladies”---- on the Whens,
Whys, Whats, Hows, Wheres, Whos, Whoses and Whoms of getting married/of having
that H.O.T diamond ring on our “jari manis” thingys…please laa…try to “minimize”
your pestering. We will be married when it is the right thing to be done, at
the right time, in the right mental, physical, emotional and spiritual space/state.
Most importantly – we will marry NOT because others want us too. We marry because
Allah has planned it, the way HE wants it… not you :)
I believe in “life is not all a bed of roses”. Pessimistic,
you may call me. But, trust me - that adjective does not do me justice. I believe
I am practical - that is how I always see myself, at least.
I don’t believe in achieving life perfection simply because
there is none to me. Instead, I believe in owning a happiness by doing things
right, at the right time, with the best of my ability. I believe in having my
own standards in my doings – be it working, communicating, socializing,
studying, reading, movie/drama watching, music listening, thinking etc. I set
the standards that work to/with me and that in itself makes me happy :)
Whether my doing turns out to be “perfect, nearly perfect,
far from perfect, etc” – it is just not up to me to feel, say and think. I do
things – other people? Judging, grading, assessing, evaluating. And when people
start to be judges, graders, assessors and evaluators with: some are so genuine
and some awfully fake, with: each having his own definition of “PERFECTION”- pray,
tell me, what, which and whose PERFECTION should I subscribe to? Achieving
perfection did not make, is not making, will not make me happy. But doing
things right did make me happy all the time and will always be.
So, please…when you wanna
sell me a story titled "Your Life Will Be Perrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrfect If You Are Married, Gie!", don’t bluff me! I won’t buy it! Try something else, pls :) I like this one better: “Marriage will complement
your life, Gie!” because that is what I have always believed in – Marriage as a
blessed path for a married couple to complement each other, not PERFECTING each
other. There is nothing so philosophical or so utopian-like with this belief,
right? Simple and practical and achievable as compared to those- “marriage perfecting
life and soul” thingys.
-HE knows, and ye know not-
p/s: This post is inspired by stories of friends 1) who (for
ages) have been married but pestered for not yet having kids, 2) who have just married but pestered for tying the knot too soon, for not inviting the whole mukim to her nikah and 3) friends who are contemplating to end
their marriage.
